Fun facts about dying while out of the country!

Posted by - Thaxton on

Picture this. You are out having a romp around downtown Tirana, Albania. You are wandering around, croissant in hand, not a care in the world. When all of a sudden a milk truck is careening out of control right towards you. With fear in your heart and french muffin in your mouth, your life flashes before your eyes. Watching your grandfather get a DUI, smoking crystal meth out of a shoe, experimenting with beautiful green eyed Josh in college. You know, the hits.

The reminiscing is over and you are just a gross mess on the sidewalk in front of the air conditioning store. So what happens now? How do you get your remains home? Can you? Do they actually have croissants in Albania? (kind of, yeah) Well hopefully whatever you decide has been clearly put into your will, because you are dead now and communicating is not your strong suit.

1. You can have your remains sent home (or whats left of you, that truck did a number)((Also don't drink milk and this wont happen)). Anyways. The Department of State has no funds allocated too assisting in transport or services involving the remains. So that is on you and your family or "collective" if you are an ant. Either way shipping a body can cost you around a few grand.

2. Have your mushy body cremated and fedex'd. The USPS actually handles it but thats not as catchy. "USPS it" see? doesn't roll off the tongue. But, yeah get cremated then shipped over back home (let's say Virginia Beach.)

3. Get buried in whatever country you happen to die in. Yes, vacation forever. Stay buried in Albania, it's similar to being buried in Virginia so why not? Cost will be a few grand, just as it is in the states. 

Hopefully you learned a lot today and wont die in Albania. Fun fact, Albania is the largest country in the Baltics. Goodnight everyone! 


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